How do I talk to my kids about money?
By Calm Money Kids · 6 min read
A lot of parents want to talk with their kids about money and aren't sure where to begin, and that's completely normal. You can talk to your kids about money by using short, calm words, asking more questions than you answer, and giving the talk a regular home each week on Family Money Day. A few calm minutes at a time teach more than one big talk, and your child learns that money is something your family can talk about without stress.
Why does talking to kids about money feel so awkward?
Money talks feel awkward because a lot of us never heard them growing up, so there's no script to borrow, and kids ask at the hardest times, like in the checkout line. That isn't a sign you're doing anything wrong, and it only means you need a few ready words and a set time.
When does money come up with your kids right now, and how does it feel when it does?
What words can you use when you start talking about money?
The best words are short, warm and true, and here are a few from the Calm Money Kids Conversation Bank that you can borrow today.
When you hand over the allowance, you can say, "Here is your money for the week, and it is yours because you are part of this family." When your child grabs something at the store, you can ask, "Is that a Spend Jar thing or a Dream Jar thing?" When you put something back on the shelf yourself, you can say, "I really liked that, and it is not in the plan this month, so it is going back." When your child is worried, you can say, "We are okay, and the money in our family is my job to take care of, not yours."
Each of these works because it points your child back to a plan. Pick one line and say it out loud this week, so it starts to sound like you.
How do you keep a money talk short and calm?
Keep your answer to one or two sentences, then ask one question and listen. A short answer gives your child room to think, and a question tells them their ideas matter.
You can also talk out loud while you pay for things, like "I'm paying for groceries first, because food comes before treats." Kids learn by watching you, so these small moments teach without feeling like a lesson.
End the talk while it still feels good, because a talk that ends warm is one your child will want to have again. This week, notice how long your answers are, and cut one of them down to a single sentence.
How does Family Money Day give money talks a regular home?
Family Money Day is a short check-in on the same day each week. Your child gets their allowance, splits it into the four jars, checks on their goals and has one money conversation with you.
A set day takes the pressure off the rest of the week, because when your child asks for something on a Tuesday, you can say, "Let's look at that on Family Money Day," and the question gets a real answer in a calm moment and not a rushed yes or no in the store.
Choose the day that already feels calmest in your home, like a weekend breakfast, and write it on the calendar.
What does a money talk look like with an 8 year old?
Say your 8 year old spots a toy at the store and asks you to buy it.
You smile and say, "That does look fun. Is that a Spend Jar thing or a Dream Jar thing?"
Your child says it's a Dream Jar thing, because it costs more than the $4 that goes into their Spend jar each week.
You say, "Let's add it to your dream list and look at it on Family Money Day."
On Saturday, your child splits $8 into the jars, with $1 in Grow, $2 in Dream, $4 in Spend and $1 in Give.
Together you count how many weeks of $2 the toy will take, and your child decides if they still want it.
The whole talk took a few minutes, and nobody had to argue in the aisle.
What does it cost to wait for the right moment to talk about money?
When there's no set time, money only comes up when something goes wrong, like a meltdown at the store, so your child learns that money is a stressful topic.
Waiting also leaves the teaching to ads and friends, and every rushed no at the checkout takes more out of you than a calm few minutes on Family Money Day. Think about one money moment that ended in tears last month, and what you could say next time to move it to Family Money Day.
How do money talks change as your child grows?
Calm Money Kids follows four stages, and you can read more in how to teach kids about money at every age. An Early Explorer, ages 4 to 6, needs very short answers and the same words every week. A Goal Builder, ages 7 to 10, is ready to talk about goals and how long they take, like the 8 year old in the store. A Young Manager, ages 11 to 14, can plan a whole month of spending and talk about ads and friends. An Emerging Independent, ages 15 and up, learns most by talking things through with someone they trust, so your job shifts from teaching to listening.
How does Calm Money Kids help you find the words?
The Conversation Bank holds ready words for everyday money moments, from big wants to money mistakes. Each one gives you words to say, a question to ask next and a short note on why it works, and you can show only the talks that fit your child's stage.
When something is happening right now, the Help me right now page lets you pick the moment and borrow the words you need. After a talk, you can mark that you had it, and the app keeps it on your child's record.
What are three ways to start talking to your kids about money this week?
Pick one of these and see how your child responds.
- Choose your Family Money Day, tell your kids about it, and keep the first one under 15 minutes.
- Say out loud what you're doing the next time you pay for something, and ask your child one question about it.
- Pick one line from the Conversation Bank and use it the next time your child asks for something.
Common questions about talking to kids about money
What age should I start talking to my kids about money?
You can start as early as age 4, which is where Calm Money Kids begins. At that age, keep each answer to one or two sentences and use the same words every week.
Should I tell my kids how much money we make?
Your child doesn't need adult numbers to feel safe, so you can tell them your family is okay and that taking care of the family's money is your job, not theirs.
What if I don't know the answer to my child's money question?
Say you don't know and look it up together. Your child learns that grown-ups keep learning about money too.
Make money a calm topic in your home
Talking to your kids about money comes down to short, warm words, one good question and a set time each week, and Family Money Day gives that talk a home.
If you'd like ready words for every money moment, Calm Money Kids gives you the Conversation Bank and walks you through Family Money Day each week.