How do I teach a tween about money?
By Calm Money Kids · 6 min read
A lot of parents find that the money rules that worked at 8 stop working somewhere around 11. You can teach a tween about money by handing over real responsibility in small steps, which means a monthly spending plan, their own jar math, and choices they have to live with. Tweens learn best when the stakes are real but small and when you give them reasons and not just rules.
What can a tween understand about money?
Tweens can think in ideas and not only in things they can see. They can picture "what if," plan ahead and weigh one choice against another, so a whole month of money finally makes sense to them.
Friends and fitting in start to matter a lot, and that shapes what they want to buy. This is good news for you, because social spending gives your tween real choices to practice with while the amounts are still small.
This matters because a tween is ready to run part of their own money. In Calm Money Kids, ages 11 to 14 are the Young Manager stage, and the app's activities are built for this shift from following the system to running part of it.
What should a tween learn about money at each age?
Each year of the tween stage has one big idea. They build on each other, so your child is never learning everything at once.
At 11, a tween learns to plan a whole month
Your child starts planning their Spend money by the month and working out the jar split with percents and cents. You can read more about how to teach an 11 year old about money.
At 12, a tween learns who is trying to get their money
Your child learns how ads, friends, subscriptions and in-app purchases push us to spend, and they practice waiting 24 hours before buying anything they didn't plan. You can read more about how to teach a 12 year old about money.
At 13, a tween learns where money lives
Your child learns how a bank account works and how a need can have a want inside it, like needing shoes but wanting the expensive ones. You can read more about how to teach a 13 year old about money.
At 14, a tween learns about risk and reward
Your child builds a pretend portfolio on paper and saves for a Dream goal that takes three to six months. You can read more about how to teach a 14 year old about money.
How do the four money jars change for a tween?
The jars and the suggested split stay the same as they were in the younger years, with Grow at 15 percent, Dream at 25 percent, Spend at 50 percent and Give at 10 percent. What changes is who's in charge. You can see why each jar gets its share in how to split allowance into jars.
Say your 12 year old gets the allowance Calm Money Kids suggests as a starting point, which is $1 for each year of age, paid every week on Family Money Day. That's $12 a week, and you can change the amount to fit your family.
Up to age 10, the app rounds the split to whole dollars. From 11, your child uses the exact percents with cents and does the math, so $12 becomes $1.80 for Grow, $3 for Dream, $6 for Spend and $1.20 for Give.
Spend money is now planned by the month, which gives your 12 year old $26 to make last. Dream goals stretch to three to six months, so a goal of $39 to $78 is in reach. Giving happens every three months, and the Grow jar still waits until 18.
These changes matter because they stretch how far ahead your child has to think. The app keeps the totals, so your tween can check their own math against it.
What does it cost to wait until the teen years?
A tween who is never trusted with a real budget can reach 16 or 18 without having made a single plan. Their first mistakes then happen with a paycheck or a bank card, and those mistakes cost a lot more.
Between 11 and 14, a mistake costs a few dollars and a hard week. That's about as cheap as a money lesson gets, so this is the time to let your child make one. When your child turns 15, you can read how to teach a teenager about money.
What does a tween's first monthly budget look like?
Say your 12 year old has $26 of Spend money for the month, and their friends are all going to the movies on the second weekend. They spend $15 on the ticket and snacks, and then a new game comes out a week later.
Your child checks the Spend jar in the app and sees $11 left. They can buy a smaller game now, or they can make the game a Dream goal and wait.
Whatever they choose, the choice is theirs, and the jar shows them exactly what it cost.
If your child runs out before the month ends, you don't need to fill the jar back up. You can sit down together, look at where the money went and plan next month.
How do you talk to a tween about money without a fight?
Say your 12 year old asks why they have to put money in the Grow jar at all, when they could use it now.
It's tempting to explain the rule again, but a question works better at this age. You can ask, "What do you think would happen if you spent it all this week?"
Then let them answer. Pushing back is a good sign, because it means your child is thinking for themselves.
Clothes are a common next question at this age. If you're wondering how much to hand over, you can read should my tween buy their own clothes.
What are three ways to start teaching your tween about money this week?
You don't have to hand over everything at once. You can pick one of these, let your tween get used to it, and then add the next.
- Ask your tween to work out their own jar split this week using percents, and check it against the app together.
- Have your tween write a short plan for this month's Spend money, with one thing they want to save room for.
- The next time your tween asks why, ask what they think before you answer.
Common questions about teaching a tween about money
How much allowance should a tween get?
Calm Money Kids suggests $1 for each year of age, paid every week, as a starting point you can change. That's $11 a week at 11 and $14 a week at 14.
Should a tween have a monthly budget?
Yes, for their Spend money. The allowance still comes weekly, and your tween plans how to make the Spend part last the whole month.
Should I bail out my tween when they run out of money?
No, because running out now teaches them how to plan next month. That lesson costs much less at 12 than it does at 30.
Start handing your tween the reins this week
A tween doesn't need a perfect system. They need a little real responsibility, a monthly plan they make themselves, and a parent who lets them learn from it.
Calm Money Kids keeps track of every jar and gives you Young Manager activities for ages 11 to 14, so your tween can start running their own money this week.